3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
