Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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