He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
