So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
