Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize