I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
