Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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