Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
