im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
