That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
