I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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