Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
