the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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