I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
