He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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