we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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