You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize