I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
