Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
