I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
