Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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