This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
