You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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