You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
