i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
