check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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