Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
