My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
