I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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