The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
