Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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