Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
