Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
