I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
