Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
