yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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