Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Farmville is her only friend.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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