homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
