Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
