Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
