You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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