I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
