he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
