I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
