Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
