you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
