my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
