Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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