MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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