I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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