She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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