He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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