Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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