Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
