If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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