I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
ttyl tear gas
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
