What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
