i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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