That's intense
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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