dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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